mood: calm

went to school late today so i didn't have much to do there. the pep rally was gay, but oh well.

work was pretty good today. everyone's in good moods on fridays. haha. the christmas party thing at the hotel was good. it wasn't anything like i expected, but it was free, so i'm there. after that me and heather hung out a little bit. then i met dana and todd at don jose. i didn't eat, but it was cool just hanging out and talking. i think me and dana are hanging out tomorrow :) we're going on a shopping spree. haha. i'm looking forward to it!

i was supposed to drive to my sister's tomorrow, but yeah some shit happened and now the kids are coming here. blah. i woulda much rathered gone there. oh well. i'm supposed to go to some dinner/theater thing with drew and his dad tomorrow night. that should be interesting. i don't even know what to expect.

i dressed up tonight for the first time in forever. it felt good. i actually kind of felt like i looked nice. i like dressing nice every now and then :)

i miss alot about the "old days" i wouldn't change anything dealing with drew for the world, but i mean other things... i've been thinking about that alot lately.

today it's been a year and 2 months for me and drew. hehe. i loooooove him <3

mood: sick

school was boring.

work was very frustrating. there's way too much drama floating around. i guess that's expected with a building full of women. haha.

i want to look for a new job cuz of the money and people, but i love my actual job working with the kids. hmm...

i've been craving some freaking olive garden for the longest time now and drew finally took me there tonight :) everything was good besides the fact that we had to wait a HOUR to get sat. i hate that. but i enjoyed it!

i love him so <3

i'm so glad it's friday tomorrow! i'm going to this party thing at a hotel after work. it's for all the staff members of daycares in the area. it's supposed to be free food and stuff so i'm going. haha. if it's stupid, i'll leave.

at a loss of words, or am i?

mood: curious

my hamser died :(

i was sooooo incredibly sad. i really did love him. i know it's stupid, but he was my lil' booger... that's what i called him. i miss him. my brother dug a whole for him and i put him in a "just his size" box and barryed him :( i hated it...

i'm feeling better. hopefully drew will feel better soon too. i think i got him sick :\ oops!

it's waaaay too hott in my daycare. i sweat alot and it's gross. haha.

i met up with dana and her new guy, todd, tonight. it was pretty cool. we just talked about stuff. todd seems nice. i miss dana :\ and the way things used to be...

i wonder if she cares... like i do.

I FINALLY MET KAYLA :) haha, she so nice. i felt boring, but hey... maybe i am?

me and drew have been arguing alot lately. I HATE IT! he means soooo much to me and it hurts when we argue. i really do love him more then anything. he thinks i've lost or is losing feelings for him. yeah right... he's my second half :) i know we'll be alright... we just need to talk about things and spend some good quality time together. with us both working all the time, it's hard. <3

christmas is soon. i have no money. i want to get drew something really nice, but what? i probably won't have enough money to buy for my family. i've got secret santa to buy for at work. lsdfkj! ...i hate money, i mean i don't, but it causes so much stress. bills are due at the end of the month for me too! ahh... i don't know what i'm going to do.

i'm too young to be this stressed out about things!

mood: productive

wow. it's been about a year since i've updated. that's ridiculous.

me and drew are still together<3 it's been a year and some now. definitely been the best times of my life. he makes me feel like i matter- it's amazing. i love him more then anything in this whole world. it's love- you should be jealous! ;)

school is going great. i mean yeah, of course it sucks, but my grades are veryvery good this year. nothing less then a B on my last report card. i was so proud of myself :) my classes kind of suck tho. oh well. my last year- kind of a scary thought.

as far as my social life goes... it's at an all time low. i don't really have any classes with any of the friends i'm used to being around, but i've made new ones and tried keeping in touch with the old ones. i have lost my best friend tho. i'm hoping that changes soon. i'm not going to go into details about things with that right now tho.

i have a wonderful job at a daycare in Colonial Heights called New Beginnings. i adore the kids there. i work in the 1 year old's room. they're so freaking cute :) i've always wanted to work in a daycare! i love it. i like most of the people there. BUT the money isn't really that great. i only have 2 bills a month... JUST 2 and i can't even pay them. it's pittiful. i've got to figure something out. all and all... i love my job <3 kids make my day :)

i'm finally really trying to lose weight. i've gotten waaay too huge over the past summer. i haven't really changed my eating habits too much, just not eating as much junk and trying not to eat as much, period. i don't drink soda, just diet. lots of juices and water. i'm hoping to lose at least 20lbs. it's going to take a while, but i need to do something = i have NO self-esteem... AT ALL!

i think my hamster is dying :( i feel horrible. drew and dana got him for me last christmas, so it's been about a year now... i thought he'd live so much longer. i used to tap on his cage or open the door and he come to the door everytime, but this time i tapped on the cage... he didn't move, so i shook the cage REALLY hard and he barely opened his eyes or moved. it's so sad. i know it probably sounds stupid, but i feel horrible. drew picked him out, so he's kind of special to me, too :( i hope he's ok, but i know he's not.

i think i have strep throat :\ i felt like a pile of crap yesterday! my throat hurt reallyreally bad. it hurt(s) to swallow. i woke up this morning feeling like a pile of crap too, so i didn't go into school until it was time for service learning. i didn't feel like making up that time. i went to work too, but i probably shouldn't have. i think i gave whatever i have to drew, too. i feel bad, but usually when one of us has something... the other gets it. i'm hoping we both feel better soon tho. 

well. i'm hoping to keep this updated from now on. if anything comes up that's worth venting about. i need to vent. it makes you feel better, even if no one reads it.

<3

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soo... long time, huh? ...i've been really busy n stuff... lost my job, unfortunely, so i'm lookin' for one if anyone has any ideas. me n drew are doing better then ever :) <3, but he leaves on friday for vacation for a WHOLE week... : ' ( i'm going to miss him so much!! ...i jus got off restriction, haha, i'm happy tho cuz it has sucked being stuck up in this freakin' house. ... i went to tennesse to visit my sister n her family not too long ago, that was awesome... i miss them being here SO much! they're coming on feb.16th tho... i can't wait! ...not too much has been going on... i've been hanging out with rachel and dana alot. and of course drew<3 now that i'm not in jail (restriction) i can actually get out n do some stuff, but it's back to school tmorrow and that really sucks... i enjoyed the break and all that time i still didn't do all my homework...haha... oh well, whatever. ...been going through some hard times with my family latley, won't get into details or anything, but i hope everything's ok :-\ ...hmm... not much else to say for now so til next time... <3

happy thanksgiving everyone!

i haven't been feeling so well today or last night so i couldn't really enjoy anything so it sucked : ( i have a sore throat, grr! i hope it gets better by tomorrow night- i have to work- i gotta job at friendly's as a waitress and so far it's pretty cool- i like the idea of putting money in my pocket every night when i work and i work with some pretuy cool people so i don't think it's gonna be too bad.

yesterday i went home with drew from school n stayed at his house til bout 10:30 then i had to go home : ( i hate leaving him! it's almost our two month! yay! i love him soooo much<3

i was grounded most of last week and last weekend for something really stupid- it sucked!! and i'm glad to be off! 

i got my cell phone hooked back up 3174077- HOLLER!

but not much else to say tonight- <3

thursday- hung out with dana :-) and went n saw drew for a lil' bit<3 then went n saw alex m and chris thompson at work at ukrops-haha, fun stuff.

friday- babysat all freakin' day...my nieces make me wanna run away and never come back sometimes, but of course i love them still. just makes me question whether i want kids of my own...haha...j/k.

saturday- babysat most of the morning and afternoon then drew came n got me and we went back to his house n watched tv and the ring n just hung out :-) it was great- i love being with him, makes me feel sooo good<3

sunday((today))- made the best breakfest ever! haha :-D then later dana came n got me n we went to cici's to eat with chris thompson and his friend-sorry forgot the name- lol, then we went n saw drew before work<3 saw good ol purdin up there too, haha, in his old man clothes- then went to the mall and somewhere else, but i forgot. i got the most orgasmic pair of gloves today! actually two pair((white n black))they're SOOOOO soft you can't help but to rub them. haha. this weekend has been pretty good :-) but tomorrow back to school, ugh!

there are days when i just wanna sit and stare into your eyes because that's the only time i know i'm alive...

today is one of those days.

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hmm... haven't updated in a while. busy busy busy. this week has been pretty boring. i got to hang out with drew on monday tho and that was cool. we stayed at my house for a while then went to my niece's cheerleading competition thing. i know he was bored and so was i, but i'm glad he went. i love being with him. i've waited sooo long for us to be together and finally<3 ...last night ((tuesday)) was our first chorus concert. we did...uh...ok i guess. we coulda definitely done better. we need to work on blending, too many individual voices stand out. we'll kick butt next time tho. high impact was awesome and mixed chorus did really well everyone seem to like them. omg! when we were walking to stand on the risers before our performance i definitely tripped down the steps, didn't fall, but tripped. haha. it was great.. everyone was like "oooh *laughter*"...i laughed really hard too, and i didn't feel stupid cuz like 4 other people tripped too and plus half the people didn't even see me trip. oh well. haha. other then that everyone went well... today my sister and her kids are coming over for dinner, i love them and i gotta spend as much time as possible with them. they're moving to tennessee in like 2 weeks or so :-( i cryed soooooooo much when i found out. it really sucks, my sister is like my best friend and i'm like a second mom to my nieces. i'm definitely gonna be taking alot of road trips! ...drew came over for like 30 mins after school today and we didn't really do anything... just stood around n talked n stuff. i wasn't really feeling myself... nothing's wrong, it's just one of those days...i miss him tho, i can't wait to spend time with him this weekend<3 my nieces are staying here all weekend becuz my sister n her husband are going to tenn. to look for a house :-( noooo! i can't believe they're moving. dlfkjaljgalfk! report cards next week, uh oh! i really hope i'm doing well, which i think i am, the only class i might need to worry about is chemistry. oh well, we'll see, but hmm...i guess i'm going to go. i'll try to update this more often then i have been.

-met some new people, forgiven some enemys, grown closer to already good friends, and in love more then ever before... <3

homecoming weekend = great :)

friday:

-peprally at school, nails done with dana, shoppin' for homecoming clothes with drew, dinner at dana's, homecoming game((good times))

saturday:

-woke up to a visit from lil' red riding hood((haha, CHEZ)), took medicine n went back to sleep til 2, dana came n got me at 3, we went to eat, wal-mart, then back to her house to get ready for homecoming, took showers, got beautiful, then to the dance((i danced my ass off man, and it was sooo hott in there...sweating bullets, haha, it was alotta fun tho...everyone looked amazing <3)), after the dance me n dana went to wal-mart((open 24 hours baby)) n got a cell phone charger for her car, we were still in out homecoming dresses and some black guys were like tryna talk to us and followed us around...it was so scary!, then we went to my sisters n changed, then went to sean zacks for a party that kinda sucked, but whatever...

sunday:

-made an ass of myself, my sister is pissed off at me, in a really bad mood, i fuck everything up... so yeah deal with it.

so yesterday didn't end up so bad after all...

rachel ((davis)) called around 11ish and asked what i was doing cuz she wanted to come over. i told her i was waiting on drew to call me back, but anyways she came over and we talked, made some food, then went to her house for a while, went to jake's for a while, went to burgerking, then came back here til 5ish. drew came n got me around 515ish and we went n picked up his friend brian who had to approve of me, haha, which he did, but yeah we went n picked up flowers then took them to brian's girlfriend's house cuz they got in a car accident earlier that day. they're ok tho, good thing. after we visited them for a while, we went to visit my dana.gale at work. i love her<3 she was gonna spend the night, but those plans fell through. : ( but yeah then me n drew went back to his house n hung out til it was time for me to go home. i didn't wanna go. i love him so much! <33

--------------------

i wrote a poem today. i think it really explains how i feel about things and it means alot to me. i wish i could get out of this bad mood i've been in since friday... it sucks, i'm usually sucha happy person? : \

yesterday/this morning hasn't been good at all.

yesterday i cryed all afternoon over something so stupid and i know i shouldn't have, but i can't help it.. this ONE thing gets to me all the time... ah! it makes me wanna cry n scream all the time. i need to get over it. i went to sleep at 6 fucking 30 last night and slept til 9 this morning...that's ALOT of sleep. i feel better somewhat, but i still can't get this ONE thing off my mind. i need to get out. hopefully i'm seeing drew today. don't know yet tho. *crosses fingers*

school has been going really good. i like aLL of my classes except first pd ((algebra 2)) well it's cool cuz manda is in there. i love that girl. but i hate the work and the teacher. grr! chemistry is kinda tough... i just need to study more, ew! but everything else is all good. i love my theater and spanish 2 class. good people and good teachers. histroy is awesome...the other day i had my hand up to ask him something and when he finally got me he said "sorry brittany 2 i was busy answering dumbass questions from jonah" lmao! he calls me brittany 2 cuz there's 2 brittanys...haha! vocal ensemble ((chorus)) is fun...we're gonna rock this year! we sound sooo good. it's amazing how much talent sits in that one room. but anyways...i really like my lunchs...drew, carissa, rachel, krista, phil-elliot are all in my odd days :) and jeffrey, hunter, andre, nick g, nick b, kendal, ashlei, phil-elliott, krista, andrew, austin, jake and a whole bunch more are in my even days! i always get raped on even days tho. haha. yesterday andre and hunter were throwing ice down my shirt. burr. lol. idiots! hmm...what else? my english class is really interesting. i sit by chaz, haha. but yeah we learn alot in there and my teacher is really dedicated to us doing well. i like that class alot. so yeah school's going good. i've made some new friends too, yay! good stuff. but i'm out...got things to do.

comments? i miss those...

friday: went home from school with dana n we stayed there for a lil bit, then came to my house n waited for my mom to come home so i could get some money for the game that ended up getting canceled. i was so mad, we were all looking forward to it, but oh well it's tomororw night and i'm still going. yeah...but anyways since that got canceled we decided to go to issac's n hang out. a bunch of his friends came over...the only one i knew was jamie webb, but yeah they were cool. we all went flying. then me, dana, n issac went to casa grande and ate chips in cheese dip...haha...it was sooo good and we had a good time. after dinner me n dana went back to her house n i stayed the night with her. we were so tired from school we crashed at like 10:30 or sooner...haha...

saturday: me n dana had to get up at 9 something cuz she had work at 11. she got ready while i stayed in bed. when i went home i did absolutly nothing until my mom said let's go visit stef ((my big sis)) so we did that and took my lil sister to a friends house n visited some people we know that lived in the same neighborhood and we were about to go to amy's until i suggested we go to tropical smoothie to see dana and to get a smoothie cuz they're sooo good. dana ended up gettin' off early so my mom went to amy's n i went to dana's. we chilled there n got ready for a while then went to issac's n chilled for a while. then we went to issac's friend hunter's house n got a lil tipsy and went flying n just hung out there for a while. it was a good time.

today ((sunday)): i WAS going to go to kings dominion with dana, but becuz i didn't call to check up last night with my mom she grounded me for the day and that sucks so bad cuz today was beautiful...perfect day for kd. grrr! oh well... i needed to get my home work done anyways...

i've got secrets, but no ears...

         it's killing me, all this pain inside <\3

today was a reallllly good day : ) well besides the fact i was late to school becuz dana got caught in traffic, plus it was storming like crazy this morning so now i have a lovely lunch detention, grr! oh well... whatever... but yeah we had an assembly today and chris skinner came n talked to us about his accident ((drinking and driving)) and pretty much lectured us, but on our level... like he was a really cool guy and it def. made me think alot. i sat by nick and tryed to bug him the whole time, but nothing seems to bug him. haha. oh well, it's good to see him back. he wasn't there the first week of school. i talked to drew alot today too : ) ...today in theater we had to kinda do a skit... like we had a narrator who told the story and my group and i had to act it out. i was a "dumb dramatic blonde", this girl grace was a "rock whorshiper", and the two guys were "killers"...it turned out really well and i enjoyed it alot. i think we were the best group... all the others didn't have anything in order/together. i love acting! woo hoo, anyways i'm so glad me n sarah malone are friends now<3 last year we hated each other becuz of a certain someone ((remains nameless)), haha, but yeah we talked everything out and now i'm in love with her...haha...she's so sweet. this year my ultimate goal is: NO ENEMIES! there's always gonna be someone who doesn't like you or whatever and you can't help it, but me "i'm neutral" this year...haha...i'm friends with everrrrryone! yay!

yesterday i hung out with dana after school and that was sooooome good ass times ((BOOBER)) <-- inside joke! lmao! she's the greatest... we went flyinggggg....lol...uh yeah anyways kati d. informed me my latest entrys are reallllly long and it takes her 8 hours to read so i'll shutup now : D just for you kati!!